


no regrets

by pinktiger



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Drunken Kissing, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Hyunjin gets hurt, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, but all ends well, changbin is dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 03:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16054190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinktiger/pseuds/pinktiger
Summary: Changbin tries to fix the mess he's made.





	no regrets

  
changbin wakes up to a splitting headache and what feels like the sahara desert in his mouth. he groans, immediately remembering the cause of his miserable state; he drank too much. way, way too much.  
  
he slowly rolls onto his back, his limbs protesting even at the slight movement. at least his stomach doesn't seem upset. could have been worse.  
  
he fumbles around the bed for his phone and once he finds it, he squints his eyes to read the time. 11 am. it'd do him well to sleep longer considering he probably went to bed in the morning, but he can never sleep well after drinking. he has a few unread messages and he checks them- chan asking if he got home safely, sent at 8am. jisung asking if he's alive, sent 30 minutes ago. he quickly replies to chan, knowing otherwise he's bound to get a call, and then he sends jisung a simple "no."  
  
after that, he just lies still for a moment, staring at the ceiling, trying not to think about last night. it was messy and he probably embarrassed himself multiple times. he doesn't want to remember but it also worries him that he definitely has some blank spots in his memory. fuck, just how much did he drink?  
  
eventuality the thirst wins over his unwillingness to move and he drags himself out of bed. he swallows a painkiller, drinks three glasses of water and grabs a slice of pizza thanking the angel who put it in the fridge.  
  
well, it had to be hyunjin since seungmin went home for the weekend.  
  
hyunjin. changbin sighs, glancing at hyunjin's bedroom door. it seems he hasn't gotten up yet. hyunjin definitely had less to drink than him, changbin made sure of that. actually one of the reasons he got so smashed is because half the time hyunjin lost in drinking games changbin drank his shots. hyunjin was sulking about it but he is still underage and changbin just wasn't going to let him drink this much when he's still not used to it.  
  
he doubts what hyunjin drank was enough to get a serious hangover but hyunjin is a heavy sleeper and he rarely gets up before noon on free days. if changbin could cook, he'd make them a nice breakfast but he can't cook for shit so. maybe he should order something.  
  
he looks at his glass but then decides to grab a whole water bottle instead and makes his way back to his room. his phone light is blinking with notifications. he unlocks it- he has new messages from jisung.  
  
dude u got so drunk  
like??? u kissed hyunjin??? wtf man  
  
changbin stares at the message, his blood turning cold. he did what? he quickly types 'are u kidding?', his heart pounding in his chest. there's no way that happened. he would remember. forgetting stuff he said is one thing, but something like that?  
  
u don't remember??  
have u talked to him yet?  
gonna be awkward lol  
  
changbin curses under his breath and throws the phone on the bed. he tries to remember what happened but his mind is blank. fuck. if he had to mess up and kiss hyunjin then he could've at least remembered how it felt.  
  
because the fact that he couldn't stop thinking about kissing and hyunjin was another reason he got so drunk. not a very smart idea in retrospect, seeing hyunjin was there with him. hyunjin had been pretty clear about rejecting changbin's attempts at flirting and he definitely didn't want to kiss changbin at all.  
  
fuck, he is really a piece of shit. how could he do that to hyunjin? what if it was his first kiss or something, and it got stolen by a drunk guy he didn't even want to kiss? disgusting. changbin absolutely deserves to rot in hell.  
  
he groans, rubbing his forehead. he fucked up. he has no other choice but to apologize.  
  


  
changbin is expecting things to get painfully awkward when hyunjin gets up, but the boy is all smiles when he walks into the kitchen, dressed in an oversized hoodie and sweatpants, his hair still messy. he greets changbin cheerfully, his voice a little rough from sleep, and then he proceeds to tease changbin about his hangover as he eats the chicken changbin ordered. changbin is very, very confused.  
  
if he didn't know better he'd think a drunken kiss wasn't a big deal to hyunjin. but changbin knows how sensitive he is. the kid cries over disney movies, for fuck's sake. of course kisses mean a lot to him. he probably believes in true love and soulmates and all that jazz.  
  
maybe hyunjin simply wants to avoid the awkwardness and act like nothing happened. and while changbin understands that, he can't accept it. he messed up, he has to take responsibility.  
  
changbin looks up at hyunjin; hyunjin immediately smiles at him, eyes still puffy from sleep. there's barbecue sauce on his face. changbin falls for him a little more and he hates himself a little more. if he could go back in time and punch his drunk self in the face, he would.  
  
"jinnie," he says softly. "i, uh. i'm sorry."  
  
hyunjin stares at him blankly as he chews on his chicken. "for what?"  
  
"for kissing you?"  
  
hyunjin freezes. then looks away. "oh," he mumbles. he puts the chicken down. changbin is not sure what to make of this reaction.  
  
"i didn't mean to. i really, really shouldn't have done that." he doesn't want to make excuses so he refrains from mentioning he can't even remember the kiss in the first place. "it was thoughtless and... well, it was a shitty thing to do, no matter how drunk i was."  
  
"it's- it's okay, hyung." hyunjin's voice sounds a little strangled. he's still not looking at him.  
  
"if i can do anything to make it up to you…"  
  
hyunjin laughs shortly; it sounds more tense and bitter than anything else. "you make it sound like you puked all over my shoes or something. it's fine, don't worry." before changbin can say anything, hyunjin gets up. "i gotta shower. i've got soccer practice soon."  
  
"but- the chicken?"  
  
"i'm not hungry. but thanks for the food." hyunjin finally looks at him, gives him a small smile. but there's something off about it. his eyes have a strange gleam to them like- like he's hurt. like he's about to cry.  
  
"jinnie-"  
  
"don't worry, i'll eat later."  
  
it's not what changbin is worried about- although there's also the fact hyunjin never refuses food and him choosing not to eat chicken is concerning enough. but he doesn't know what to say anymore so he lets hyunjin walk away.  
  
he's left with an impression that instead of fixing things, he only fucked them up even further.  
  


  
things do turn awkward after that. hyunjin doesn't come back until late evening. once he's back, changbin tries his best to act natural, but there's tension in the air. and even though hyunjin is talking to him and doesn't seem to be avoiding him, something is off. especially the way hyunjin stops smiling as soon as he thinks changbin isn't looking. he seems sad and tired. and… usually, hyunjin is bright and playful. he teases people he likes, though never in a way that would actually hurt them. he's a nice kid. but right now he's being overly nice. no teasing at all. he's too careful, like he's scared of something.  
  
changbin has no idea what's causing this except that he knows it's somehow his fault. he already apologized though. what else can he do?  
  
needless to say, his mood is crap when he goes to sleep. but as his body relaxes and his mind starts to wander he remembers something. hazy flashes of memories. soft lips against his. warm breath on his skin, the scent of alcohol. hyunjin's laughter, those soft endearing little giggles he usually lets out when he's happy. his smile and his sparkling eyes and how changbin thought he was too beautiful to be real, so beautiful it hurt. how he wanted to never stop kissing him.  
  
what happened last night? was his mind playing tricks on him? he doubts hyunjin would be happy about changbin kissing him, he always moves away when changbin jokingly attempts to do it. he seems okay with playful flirting but he accepts that from anyone. he does usually seem quite happy when changbin compliments his lips but… that's the thing. hyunjin is a kind person, not the type to tell someone to just fuck off. maybe changbin has been taking advantage of that the whole time.  
  
and now he fucked up even more, now things are awkward between them and it's all his fault.  
  
but what can he do to fix it?  
  


  
changbin is relieved when seungmin comes back; his presence makes things a little less awkward. although, being bright and mature for his age, he quickly notices something is wrong and he starts giving changbin pointed looks- changbin knows sooner or later he will have to explain.  
  
for now, though, they're all busy studying for exams. at least he has an excuse not to spend much time with hyunjin. he can't stand the awkwardness; no matter how much hyunjin is trying to hide it, it's clear he's tense around changbin and no matter how hard changbin tries to make him relax nothing changes. he doesn't want hyunjin to be uncomfortable and the only thing he can do is avoid him. so he does exactly that.  
  
he thinks he's not being too obvious about it until one night, before his statistics exam, seungmin approaches him in the kitchen. changbin is making himself his second jug of coffee, hoping that it'll kill him before he has to take the exam, when seungmin walks up to him, his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
"hyung," he says; his voice is as soft as always but his tone leaves no doubt that he means business. "what's up with you and hyunjin?"  
  
"nothing," changbin says. "want some coffee?"  
  
"doesn't look like nothing to me," seungmin narrows his eyes at him. "you're acting all awkward and weird."  
  
changbin shrugs. "it'll pass." or so he hopes.  
  
"yeah?" seungmin sounds annoyed now. "then i hope it passes quickly because hyunjin was crying in his room today. for like an hour. he wouldn't tell me anything except that it's about you."  
  
changbin swallows thickly and curses under his breath. he knows hyunjin is sensitive and he hates arguing and things like that can really upset him but changbin didn't think he'd be this upset this time. in the end he's the one acting all weird. changbin just wanted to put the whole unfortunate incident behind them.  
  
"i-" changbin chews on his lip, gives seungmin an uncertain look. seungmin still looks pissed- he's always been especially protective of hyunjin. and jeongin. changbin doesn't doubt seungmin would kill a man for them. "i care about him. a lot."  
  
seungmin's expression softens- he sighs, nodding. "i know. but you need to talk to him. like really talk, about whatever it is that happened. and let him know you're not upset."  
  
"i- why would i be upset?" hyunjin is the one who should be upset, he thinks. this whole situation is confusing him more and more. like he's missing an important piece of the puzzle.  
  
seungmin shrugs. "i don't know. ask him that. just be honest with him."  
  
changbin frowns. be honest. maybe it's really what he should do.  
  


  
"jinnie?"  
  
hyunjin didn't answer when changbin knocked so he enters the room slowly. he can hear music playing from hyunjin's earphones; he's lying on his side, his eyes closed. changbin sits on the side of the bed; that alerts hyunjin. he opens his eyes and seeing changbin, he pulls the earbuds out.  
  
"hyung?" his voice is quiet, uncertain. changbin can see his eyes are red and puffy from crying. it makes his heart ache. he wants hyunjin to always smile.  
  
"i came to talk to you."  
  
hyunjin doesn't answer but he sits up and stares at him expectantly. he looks tired, resigned. changbin can only hope that after they're done talking the warm light that's usually in his eyes will be there again.  
  
"i'm going to be honest," changbin starts. "i don't really remember what happened. jisung told me i kissed you and i have a vague memory of doing that, but i don't remember how that happened."  
  
hyunjin's eyes widen. "you don't- don't remember? what i said?"  
  
changbin shakes his head. "no."  
  
hyunjin stares at him for a moment, then he sort of deflates. he wraps his arms around his bent legs and rests his chin on his knees.  
  
"then maybe that's for the best," he mumbles.  
  
changbin sighs. "jinnie, you're obviously upset about something and i just- i hope i can make it better? i fucked up, i know, but-"  
  
"you said you didn't mean it," hyunjin interrupts, tone just a bit accusatory. "that you didn't mean to kiss me."  
  
changbin pauses, confused as to why hyunjin sounds so upset about it.  
  
"yeah, i... you probably didn't want me to so that was- i just shouldn't have."  
  
"right." hyunjin looks away, sniffs a little. "but before you kissed me, you said you did mean it. that's why i let you."  
  
changbin gapes, stunned into silence. hyunjin is blushing now, not facing him, but his expression is a mix of frustration and determination. and slowly, it's all starting to make sense.  
  
"oh," changbin says, feeling dumb. so his idiotic apology only messed things up.  
  
"before… i thought you were just joking, you know? about wanting to kiss me and stuff? so i…" hyunjin frowns. "i told you to stop. because i liked you and it hurt. but then you said you meant it. and we kissed." hyunjin meets his eyes now. "did you mean it, or not?"  
  
changbin feels like a complete asshole. he might just cry as well. hyunjin must have felt terrible. he thought changbin played with his feelings, or maybe he thought changbin wouldn't want to be his friend anymore because hyunjin liked him.  
  
but at the same he feels happy, and relieved, because this is a dumb misunderstanding, and hyunjin likes him too, and-  
  
he cups hyunjin's face and looks into his eyes. "hyunjin-ah, i like you. a lot. if you're okay with dating someone this fucking stupid, i'll kiss you again."  
  
hyunjin blinks at him, processing the words. then he finally brightens up. he laughs softly and changbin thinks it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard.  
  
"are you sure you mean it?"  
  
"listen, i've liked you for a long time. i thought i was making it obvious."  
  
hyunjin hums. "maybe we're both a bit stupid."  
  
"then we make a good match," changbin says, grinning, and then he leans in and kisses the prettiest smile on the prettiest lips he's ever seen.  
  
and this kiss he's sure he won't forget. ever.

 

**Author's Note:**

> since skz said hyunjin cries a lot... i felt like being evil and making him cry... but in a fluffy fic lol.
> 
> sorry.
> 
> changjin really deserve more fics


End file.
